and cue the pregnancy panic

thought i'd share a new girl quote with you people. that nick miller is a funny dude. i think my husband might even have a crush on him.

how's about this new christmas layout, right?! i know. those blog designer people are great. now i don't have to do any web-design nonsense.

i'm almost 32 weeks! (i'll post pics tomorrow. because....) my baby shower is tomorrow! so exciting! how lucky am i to have such great friends?! also...it's kindof cool because it's one of my bffintheworld's bridal shower tomorrow too. oh, universe, you never cease to amaze.

since i typically wake up in the middle of the night and lay awake for hours and hours these days, i spend a lot of unnecessary time panicking. like this:

"the ultra-sound technician said she's only 'as sure as she ever is' that it's a girl! what if that's not sure enough?! what if i told everyone it's a girl, and i have all this girl stuff, and a BOY comes out?! THEN WHAT WILL I DO?!"

now, in all seriousness, if a baby boy does exit my womb in 8 weeks instead of a girl i will be just as thrilled, but the poor thing will have nothing to wear that is not thoroughly embarrassing....except this one unisex jumper my sister got in paris. everything is 100% girl for the most part. and his pack n' play and his car seat and all of that business will be so girly! i'm pretty sure i have receipts for all of those things, but i don't know where they are! and when will i find the time to exchange everything? and again, THE CLOTHHEEESSS!!!!! and the BLANNKKIIEESSSS!!! *panic panic panic derp.*

i think all this late-pregnancy panic is prettttty normal, but it's a bit unnerving nonetheless.

on the bright side, i am to a point in the pregnancy where i am like 99% fear-free about labor and delivery. mostly because being pregnant forever would be way way way worse. being huge is not so fun-zo. rolling over in my bed is like an olympic sport! i can't fit through my hallway while carrying a laundry basket! i can't pick things up off the floor while i am sitting down! and many other things!

how does that woman on 20 kids and counting stay pregnant ALL THE TIME?! what an existence.

to be fair, for the most part, pregnancy agrees with me. as my dad said "You are like your mom. you have 'charmed pregnancies'. " and really he is mostly right. the only pervasive symptom i have is sleeplessness and exhaustion (due to sleeplessness and severe anemia! hoorah!) so i am getting my zombie practice in now; when the baby gets here, i will be so good at being a zombie, you won't even know that i am one! you'll just think that's how i am normally!
i only get occasional mild heart burn, i've thrown up a total of 3 times this entire pregnancy, i've had only 4 leg cramps in the middle of the night (i'd welcome more, just to spice things up tho! being awake in bed for hours is sooooo boring), and i've only gained 30 pounds. (granted, before the pregnancy, i was 10 lbs overweight. so there's that.)
i keep bracing myself for more unpleasantries, reminding myself that i still do, in theory, have 8 weeks left. to be honest though, i think she'll be here before 40 weeks. i feel like she really wants out! she moves like...95% of the day and night. her still-time is almost non-existent. that probably has nothing to do with anything but it makes me feel like she is restless and impatient in there. like she's anxious to get out and start learning things! i also have several BH contractions every day, for what that's worth.

in other news, i feel another book binge coming on!!!! starting the same way last year's did: the next installment (in this case, the final one) of the Matched series! i'm reading Reached right now, and after that will come the second book in the Eve trilogy, followed by the first book of the Selection series, then the next book in the Legend series, then the final Across the Universe installment, the final Delirium installment, and the final Divergent installment! wahoo for reading! i'll do another more in depth pre-book-binge post later.

now i have to go practice piano; i am playing for our ward's annual young men's christmas musical presentation. it's nice to have a reason to practice! since my parents got me my piano for my birthday (i know, they are great) i've been honing my skills again and i am getting better! almost as good as i was in high school! if i hadn't gotten my piano back in june, i wouldn't be good enough now to do all the playing i'll be doing this month. so i am very grateful.

well i wasn't planning on a long post today...guess i had more on my mind than i thought!
CAITY OUT!