2021 will be better i PROMISE

2021

I know everyone is telling us not to gear up for positivity in 2021. That it will still suck, it will be more of the same, things are still going to still be astronomically bad, that nothing will change.

I beg to differ.

It’s true, the world will still be in a state of utmost terribleness and sucky-ness. (With the exception of the expulsion of the unqualified oaf from the White House!) But with 2021 comes MYRIAD changes that will help us through the year.

The changes arent in the world around us, they are in our perspective. In our attitudes, and in our resolve.

If we learned anything 2020 is that we. can. do. hard. things.

We suffered fires, tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes, riots,  protests, civil unrest, murders, and all of this during the biggest global pandemic in over 100 years. (Not to mention a huge slew of unexpected deaths of public figures who we will all miss tremendously!)

We went through it all, wondering how we would ever muddle through it, if we could survive it, if we could even thrive through it. And we learned that we totally could.

How many of you picked up a new skill during quarantine?

Who adopted a covid puppy?

Who pulled kids out of school to start their own homeschool program?

Who strengthened their relationships with their partners and children?

Who learned what’s REALLY important? What to hold on to and what to just let go of in order to keep our sanity?

Who drew closer to their senior loved ones, even when they couldnt be physically close?

Who started spending a lot more time outside?

Who learned new ways to serve others even when we can’t be close to them?

Who decluttered in a major way?

Who enjoyed getting a whoooooole lot of takeout?

Who started ordering groceries and will NEVER go back to the old ways?

Who started really focusing on their spirituality?

Yes, we all wanted to curl up in fetal position and cry through it some days.

Yes, we had mental temper tantrums in our heads every ten (ok three) minutes.

Yes, we screamed into our pillows every day.

Yes, we wish our kids would hide silently in their rooms for the rest of their lives.

Yes, we miss date nights and movie theaters and restaurants and sports and school and ANYTHING social. 

Yes, we miss the breeze on our faces.

Yes, we wonder if things will EVER go back to normal!

And we learned that, even if they don’t, we can totally handle it. We’ve already adapted in so many ways and we KNOW we will continue to do so no matter what!

In 2021, a lot of us will STILL be doing remote school. It still sucks. What’s changed? We KNOW what we’re doing! We’re experienced! We’ve got almost a year under our belts. We know how to make it work for us and what won’t work for us.  2021 will be better.

In 2021, a lot of us will STILL be working from home. It still sucks. What’s changed? We’ve got our workspaces carved out. We have a desk SOMEWHERE in our homes that feels lived in and familiar. We have a routine. We know how remote workflow works. We’re experienced. 2021 will be better.

In 2021, the 3rd (and probably 4th) wave of the pandemic will be raging. What’s changed? Awareness is spreading. Acknowledgement has finally become prevalent. Mandates are in place. The curve has flattened in many states. More information is known and continues to be discovered about the virus each day. A vaccine is in trials. WE WILL HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO CARES! It’s still a huge problem, but we become more prepared for its effects every day. 2021 will be better.

2021’s circumstances will be largely similar to 2020’s. Our surroundings may stay the same, or even get worse. But where in 2020 we were flying blind, in 2021 we have experience. We have resolve. We have knowledge that WE CAN DO IT! How? We’ve already done it. 2021 will probably still suck. But this time we’re ready for it. 2021 will be better.

2020, the neverending dumpster fire

 i'm not going to go into a play by play of what we've been up to for the past 8 months because honestly, we've been up to what everyone else is up to. ZILCH.

corona is killing us and we don't even have the virus. 

i just wanted to jot this little snippet down while i was thinking it because it is REAL LIFE right here.

last sunday the kids needed to stretch their legs (we spend so much time doing nothing these days, it's the absolute worst). brad decided to take them on a trail to walk to the lake. its a 2 mile walk and 2 miles is usually where the kids tap out so i told him id meet them there with the car so they wouldnt have to walk home with whiny kids.

after an hour i went to meet up with them at the lake.

it was PACKED. even with our masks on, it still was a bad idea to be there. so we went to the car, grateful that they at least got some fresh air on their walk. but then ollie saw the swings. there was an open swing but it was next to another kid. hard pass. we said no.

he melted down. he was done. he'd had it. enough of this garbage. he wanted to swing. he hadn't been to a park in MONTHS, and here he was, and right there in front of him was an open swing, and dammit he wanted on. 

dragging him kicking and screaming to the car was minorly embarrassing, but more than ever in my life, i wanted to lay down on the ground right there with him and kick and scream myself. me too, ollie. me too.

and then to top it off, we passed a water fountain during the tantrum. and this poor, exhausted, chronically disappointed (as we all are this year) boy just wanted a drink after having an epic fit on a hot day. and we had to say no to that too. covid means no water fountains. and that was it. he FLIPPED OUT. we had to pick him up and carry him to the car while he kicked and screamed and punched and slapped and flailed. in that moment, oliver was my spirit animal. he was physically expressing himself the way i have wanted to since the third week of march.

this story doesn't have this much of a point except to say, moms and dads, it's the worst. it's hard on us. and it's really hard on them. i've been spending so much of my time wallowing in how awful this is for me. and it is. for parents around the world, this has literally been the worst year of their lives. but guys it's really hard on them too. 

he had another meltdown today when every single place we drove to had too many people (we should honestly just quit trying). we got to the final parking lot of the final trail and as we rolled out because it was too crowded he wailed and wailed until i just had to say "i know. it's the worst. i hate it too. lets go home and scream into our pillows together bc this is the absolute worst and im angry too."

so that's about where we're at right now folks. we're staying home because we're doing our best to social distance. and we're screaming into our pillows about it.

2020 check in

i need to get something jotted down really quick because i don't want my blog to just become something i get around to when we undergo a huge life change.
i gave a talk the other day and remembered how much i like writing.
i haven't had the writing bug in a very long time. things were so stressful at home for probably 2 solid years i think if i'm remembering properly.
brad started getting overworked the summer before bea started kindergarten and then started his weekly NC commutes and then we moved to NC, his mental health deteriorating all the while, which, in hindsight, really affected us all; i just couldnt tell because i was operating (pretty successfully!) in survival mode. that really takes a toll on a family. i wasn't inspired. i was over tired.
it took a while for brad to ease in to his new job (gun shy) but he is finally realizing and remembering that a healthy work environment is actually possible and it's making everyone feel much better. he is home by 6 each night again! it's awesome!! we chose a house with a close ish proximity to work while still in a good school district and we kind of nailed it. but since we still own our house in NC, and seattle is super expensive, we are staying frugal and are therefore in an older neighborhood. the house is like 60-70ish years old but it has been gut renovated and has amazing bones so it's really nice, even though it's teeny tiny (1200 sq ft!). but we love it. and we're on a cul de sac which is AWESOME and have great yard so we get outside to play quite a bit. the neighborhood is undergoing changes too, as most of the original owners are either moving to nursing homes or (yikes) dying, a lot of the houses are being renovated like ours was, either for rentals or for young buyers. the neighborhood should be close to our demographic within the next 5-10 years. but who knows how long we'll be in this house. our lease is two years and i think we'll like being here a lot, so who can say? the tenants before us were here 7 years!
the weather hasn't bothered me that much either. they say you go through every season in a day here and i think they're right. most days we see the sun for at least an hour, then it goes back to overcast, mists/drizzles for a bit, and then rains all night. we actually play outside more here than anywhere else because the second the sun comes out each day, it's like "GET OUTTTT!!!!!" so it's nice. the beach is fun for shell, rock, and driftwood hunting, the woods are great for hiking and exploring. it's pretty great.
school is nice. we don't have our darling ms lowe or ollie's special miss debbie, but i think we'll manage. their teachers are sweet and bea is actually ahead in school! her teacher says she helps the other students a lot in math. that girl loves math. she asked for a calculator for her birthday lol
oliver loves preschool and comes home each day saying "that was just the best day of my entire life!!". it's sweet.
we have an aquarium pass which is also nice, it's a great little aquarium and it's by the market in the city so it's fun to go.
our ward is SO nice, we have been to someone's house for dinner at least once per weekend since moving in. i can't wait til we finally finish settling in so we can return the favor.
we were completely unpacked by day 4 here but we are still tying up loose ends each weekend so we are still pretty busy.
hmmmm what else. oh! i found a great little yoga studio within 15 minutes of the house! it's not suvita and i don't consistenly LOVE every single class but it's challenging and calming and strenuous so that's all i can really hope for i guess. i just wish it was a little more intense.
that's all i can think of for now. it's been a pretty good first month and i think things will only go up from here!
that's all i can think of for now! stay tuned i might actually be consistent again!