2020, the neverending dumpster fire

 i'm not going to go into a play by play of what we've been up to for the past 8 months because honestly, we've been up to what everyone else is up to. ZILCH.

corona is killing us and we don't even have the virus. 

i just wanted to jot this little snippet down while i was thinking it because it is REAL LIFE right here.

last sunday the kids needed to stretch their legs (we spend so much time doing nothing these days, it's the absolute worst). brad decided to take them on a trail to walk to the lake. its a 2 mile walk and 2 miles is usually where the kids tap out so i told him id meet them there with the car so they wouldnt have to walk home with whiny kids.

after an hour i went to meet up with them at the lake.

it was PACKED. even with our masks on, it still was a bad idea to be there. so we went to the car, grateful that they at least got some fresh air on their walk. but then ollie saw the swings. there was an open swing but it was next to another kid. hard pass. we said no.

he melted down. he was done. he'd had it. enough of this garbage. he wanted to swing. he hadn't been to a park in MONTHS, and here he was, and right there in front of him was an open swing, and dammit he wanted on. 

dragging him kicking and screaming to the car was minorly embarrassing, but more than ever in my life, i wanted to lay down on the ground right there with him and kick and scream myself. me too, ollie. me too.

and then to top it off, we passed a water fountain during the tantrum. and this poor, exhausted, chronically disappointed (as we all are this year) boy just wanted a drink after having an epic fit on a hot day. and we had to say no to that too. covid means no water fountains. and that was it. he FLIPPED OUT. we had to pick him up and carry him to the car while he kicked and screamed and punched and slapped and flailed. in that moment, oliver was my spirit animal. he was physically expressing himself the way i have wanted to since the third week of march.

this story doesn't have this much of a point except to say, moms and dads, it's the worst. it's hard on us. and it's really hard on them. i've been spending so much of my time wallowing in how awful this is for me. and it is. for parents around the world, this has literally been the worst year of their lives. but guys it's really hard on them too. 

he had another meltdown today when every single place we drove to had too many people (we should honestly just quit trying). we got to the final parking lot of the final trail and as we rolled out because it was too crowded he wailed and wailed until i just had to say "i know. it's the worst. i hate it too. lets go home and scream into our pillows together bc this is the absolute worst and im angry too."

so that's about where we're at right now folks. we're staying home because we're doing our best to social distance. and we're screaming into our pillows about it.