Caity and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

you guys.
there are bad days, and then there are BAD. DAYS.
today was the latter.
maybe when i look back on this later i'll laugh and think i was overreacting in a big way but man oh man. today just was bad.
maybe you will laugh when you read this. if my misery brightens your day, you're welcome.
and you know what?

i mean what good are horrible days if they don't brighten someone else's day right?

ok. so. it started out great. wait no let me start before that.

this pregnancy, i have been all-over-the-place emotional. my hormones have been so crazy and i find myself crying or raging over the DUMBEST *dumbest* things. so let's just preface with that.

ok so today started out just fine. bea slept til 7:45 (decent, right?!) and went potty first thing and stayed dry all morning! ballet was cancelled but she played independently, ate a great lunch, and was very cheery. 

then i put her down for a nap. instead of sleeping, though, she kind of just sang and played with her stuffed nemos (there are 3, all different, and all gifts from different people) for like an hour, as she will often do, so i went in to tell her it was time to put the toys down and sleep, which usually works. but today for some reason she had a tantrum about it and demanded to sleep in my bed. i felt like taking a nap anyway since i am third-trimester-exhausted, so i figured she could just come in and sleep by me, which has also been successful before. not today. she was quiet for 15 minutes and then harassed me for the following 45, all through my empty threats of putting her back in her bed. i figured harassment from a 2 year old is easier to sleep through than a temper tantrum in the other room through the monitor. i chose the lesser of 2 evils.

after an hour of being tormented, i needed to get out the door so i could pick up some supplies before my webelos lesson today. i gave myself an hour, what i thought would be plenty of time. after 3 stores and no success i went to scouts empty handed with basically no lesson. so that sucked. i was also starting to feel super nauseated for some reason and i had no idea why. add a couple ADHD 10 year olds with nothing to do for an hour and you get some really good times. 

then, after suffering through the most haphazard slapped together den meeting ever, i got a text from brad reminding me that he wouldn't be home til 9:30 because of that work thing tonight. #huzzah.

so i try and make the best of it. i decide that bea and i are going to go to panera, gorge ourselves on mac and cheese, and then go home and watch a movie and eat popcorn til daddy gets home. turn it upside down right?! so we go to panera with our spirits high, though both exhausted and run a little ragged. 

we get our food and get settled and have a great 20 minutes eating our dinner. there are several families at panera but it's not too crowded and we find a corner of the restaurant where there is no one around except for one guy on a computer. after i finish eating, i patiently wait for bea to eat her food (she is hardly eating anything which is weird for her). the guy at the computer puts his earbuds in and starts a phone call in another language that i don't understand. bea asks for some help with her go-gurt and i oblige. the corner of the go-gurt package pokes her in the arm. rage ensues.

she starts SCREAMING uncontrollably. this is a girl who got shots and blood drawn 2 weeks ago with no tears, but apparently the pain of the corner of your yogurt tube poking you in the arm is just TOO MUCH TO BEAR. i try to calm her down but to no avail. the conference call guy is glaring at me. everyone is staring at us. i am shh-shing her as much as i can but the tears keep flowing and the screams keep coming. i pick her up and put my hands over her mouth. she screams even louder. i realize now this would have been the time to just grab my stuff and leave, bussing my table be damned, but i was flustered and hormonal and not thinking clearly, so i just hold her, humiliated, trying to get her to stop screaming. bea is usually freakishly well behaved so it throws me for a loop when stuff like this happens. she had kicked off her rainboots while she was eating so just as she is calming down a bit and i am thinking about picking them up and putting them on her so we can go, she VOMITS PROFUSELY! ALL OVER THE BOTH OF US. so not only is everyone staring at the pregnant lady who can't control her kid, they are staring as the pregnant lady who can't control her kid gets barfed all over by the sick kid she shouldn't have brought out in the first place. and then they all watch me as i awkwardly squat with my giant belly to clean bea up, clean myself up, and clean the puddle of barf up, all while fighting back tears. i wanted to scream at them all and tell them "I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS SICK! SHE HASN'T THROWN UP IN MONTHS! I'M JUST AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE! SHE NEVER BEHAVES THIS WAY! AND WHY AREN'T YOU OFFERING TO HELP ME, YOU HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE PEOPLE?!?!?!?!"

i cleaned as fast as i could, bussed the table, grabbed our stuff and bolted. and then i got in the car and cried. then i got it together and fought bumper to bumper traffic all the way home.

i decided to just get her in bed as soon as possible so when we got home i stripped her down, when she told me she had to go potty. so we ran to her bathroom whereupon she peed all over the bathroom rug. she has never done this before, she just decided today would be the best day to try it out.

i finally was able to throw the vomit-clothes in the laundry, get her in bed, and now here i am.

please, someone, please tell me i will laugh about this someday. please.